So say yes
by Believe78
Summary: I added a second chapter to my proposal one shot. Hope you like it :)
1. Chapter 1

I have decided to give this former one shot a second chapter and also give it a story on it's own. :) Enjoy!

Don't own The Good Wife :/

* * *

I sit in the campaign trailer and I seem to check my watch every few seconds. It is still over half an hour till the time we agreed to meet here. She thinks we are heading on from here to a restaurant as we agreed on another "date" as she is calling it. I stand from the couch and rearrange the glasses on the table for what feels like the millionth time since I got here an hour ago. I feel way too nervous to sit down again, so I walk around in the limited space the trailer offers. As I pass the mirror I check my tie and take a deep breath to calm myself down. Tonight means so much more than I realized in the last few days since this idea came to my mind. I check my watch once more and decide I have still enough time to get some air and I leave the trailer. I walk a few steps into the cool night air and it really seems to ease the tension I am feeling right now. But there is still doubt in my mind. What if she says no? I know I am out on a limb with what I will propose to her but for me it seems the right thing to do. I lean against the trailer and listen to the wind rustling through the trees that encircle the empty parking area the bus stands on.

I need some clarity on where we are in our relationship. Some might call me foolish on rushing things as we have just started "dating" again a few weeks ago. I chuckle as I recall the first time she had called it a date when I had simply asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me. I'll probably never forget the smile on her face when she agreed to it. It gave me hope again. Hope that we still had a chance to make our marriage work again. Because that's what I really want. A real marriage with all that comes with it. Ups and downs. For better or worse. We already had the worse and I really hope we can make the better work for us once more. Some men might call me crazy for wanting to add a relationship with all it's complications to the loose arrangement of great sex and some dinners we have going now. But not me. If I have learned one thing in the last few years it's that my family means the most to me. If I had to choose between winning the election for Governor and a yes from Alicia to my question later, I'd happily choose the latter.

"Mr. Florrick?"

A voice next to me startles me and brings me back to reality from my musings.

I turn and see a young boy standing in front of the trailer. He wears a baseball hat and balances a pizza box in one of his hands.

"Yes?" I walk towards him.

"You ordered a pizza?" he asks me looking around the deserted car park. I guess he thinks I have to be crazy to sit here alone in a trailer ordering pizza.

I nod and reach for my wallet in the inner pocket of my suit jacket and tip him generously. He hands me the pizza, wishing me a nice evening. I watch him leave and step into the trailer again. I place the pizza on the table and check the time. A few more minutes until she'll be here. I get nervous again and reach into the pocket of my suit, clutching the little, black velvet box in it tightly. I sigh deeply and resume my place on the couch once more. The possibility of her saying no pops into my mind again. I flinch on that thought and try to push it as far to the back of my mind as possible. I will deal with this if she really says no. Instead I try to concentrate on the positive, the things that led me to come up with this idea in the first place. We seem to have grown closer again in the last few months since that first time we had sex again back at Thanksgiving. At first I believed her and thought it was an act of rebellion against her mother who would love to see us getting divorced. Maybe I should've stopped her the moment I realized she was getting undressed, but hey, I am just a guy and if the woman you still love offers you a quicky you simply don't say no. The awakening that it was more than just sex for me came the next morning. It had opened a wound that had just started to heal, as I had not really given up hope she would want to work on our marriage but I wasn't holding my breath. There had been signs she still might be feeling something for me, like that kiss she gave me after that Indira Starr incident and the looks she'd been giving me on some long rides back home from some campaign event. But I never dared to think she might still love me or might be falling back in love with me like I had with her. So I had put that Thanksgiving event into a drawer of my mind and closed it shut. It reminded me too much of what I once had and what was no longer mine. I kicked myself for I do not know how many times that I had risked loosing her by doing something as stupid as going to a hooker. Why? I have asked myself that same question over and over but all I come up with are lame excuses. I guess it was the thrill of doing something secret and dangerous. And in my stupidity I thought I was smart enough to never get caught. But I did get caught and if anybody thinks I paid the price by going to prison, you have no idea. Prison was a walk in the park compared to the hell I faced once Alicia threw me out of her apartment. I felt like this was the end back then. Every time I opened my letter box I was sure to find the divorce papers in there. Luckily I didn't. And again I asked myself why didn't she do it? I wondered about that countless times. And never came up with an answer. I hoped she still loved me but I never found the courage to ask her. Not even after we had started sleeping together on a regular basis again. The second time it happened it was once more totally out of the blue for me. She showed up weeks after the first time had happened here in the trailer and just seduced me. And I thought about stopping her, but failed. How could I resist her when I love her more than ever now. As sure as I am about my feelings for her I have no idea what she feels for me. Stop, I have to rephrase that. I am not sure if she has the same deep feelings for me as I have for her but since a few days I at least know that she still feels for me. How I learned that? My sweet daughter told me that Alicia admitted to her she loved me. Can you imagine the somersaults my heart did when Grace told me that. And that is where the idea of tonight came to my mind.

"Hi, Peter!" I am startled for the second time tonight. I look to the door and see Alicia enter the bus. I rise from my seat and take her coat.

"Hi, Alicia." I have a lump in my throat and swallow hard trying to get rid of it.

She walks further into the trailer and looks puzzled from the table to me.

"Are we staying here?" she asks while sitting down.

"Yes, we are. If you don't mind." I seem to have found my voice again. I watch her nod and smile at me. I return the smile and really hope she doesn't sense how nervous I really am. I reach for the bottle of red wine and open it, filling both glasses.

"Thank you." she says as I hand her one of the glasses. I watch her taste the wine and smile approvingly at my choice. I also take a sip, hoping it will calm my nerves a bit.

"Any special occasion, Peter?" she looks straight at me and I swallow again as the lump is back.

Should I ask her right now or should I lie and insist that we just eat? I doubt I will be able to eat a single bite. So I just nod and watch her expression. She furrows one brow but keeps smiling. Ok, now or never. I reach in my pocket, retrieve the box and hold it in front of her. The smile fades from her face and she looks at me inquiring.

"What's that, Peter?" she asks me but takes the box from my hand.

"Open it." I keep smiling at her but my mind and heart are racing.

She opens the lid slowly and inhales sharply as the big diamond ring inside the box is revealed to her.

"That is a ring!" I add and in my own ears I sound like a fool. Her gaze goes from the box to me and she shakes her head lightly in confusion.

"But what...why?" she asks me and her expression is even more bewildered now.

I breath in deeply and I feel worse than when I popped the question to her the first time so many years ago. Maybe because back then I was sure she would say yes. I don't have that security now. Not with all that life had in store for us since she became my wife.

"Will you remarry me, Alicia?"

There I said it and I close my eyes for a second, exhaling deeply.

When I open them again and look at her I see her watching me in shock. A part of me fears she will get up and leave any second. But I try to keep up my calm exterior and smile at her. A few seconds pass and she still hasn't said a word.

"Alicia?" I barely whisper her name.

"I really don't know what to say, Peter." her gaze switches again between me and the ring she is still holding in her hand.

"All I know, is I love you. So say yes." I look at her and I can't really read her expression. It seems to be a mixture of shock and sadness. I really can't bear to look at her any longer and lower my gaze to the floor.

I look up again when I hear the lid of the jewelry box being shut. I see her placing the box on the table.

"I can't give you an answer right away, Peter. I have to think about this. Okay?" she flashes me a small smile and I nod. My voice has deserted me. So I simply watch her put on her coat and leave the trailer. Something in my head screams at me to run after her but I can't and I know I shouldn't. I bow my head towards the floor. I look around the trailer and my heart skips a beat when I realize the jewelry box is missing. She took it with her. I hope that means something. I am not sure what. It is up to her now and I hope I have the patience to wait for her answer.

* * *

I sit in at my desk at the campaign office and ponder over some polling data. A few days have passed since I proposed to Alicia and I haven't heard from her since. We nearly ran into each other in the courthouse yesterday but I managed to vanish behind a door before she could see me. I really didn't want to talk to her in public.

I really can't concentrate on the statistics and graphs that lay before me. My mind keeps wandering to what I will do if I get a negative answer from Alicia. I have no idea what to make of the fact that she is taking her time to get back to me. I keep hoping that this is a good sign. But then the doubt creeps up on me and I imagine that she just doesn't know how to tell me that her answer is no. My mind conjures images of her returning the ring to me and handing me the divorce papers at the same time. I close my eyes but the image stays with me. I decide to call it a night and head home. I gather my stuff and am in the process of reaching for the door handle when the door swings open and I find myself face to face with Alicia.

"Hi, Peter." she smiles at me and I feel that familiar lump building in my throat.

"Hi, Alicia." I manage to say and step back so she can enter the room.

She walks into the room and puts her coat over one of the chairs that stands in front of my desk. I see a tiny sparkle when she removes her hands from the coat and I step closer to get a better look at her left hand. I gasp as I realize she is wearing the ring.

"Alicia, does this mean..." I stammer and gesture towards her hand.

She walks towards me and her smile widens. She stops in front of me and grabs both of my hands.

"Yes, Peter. I will remarry you!" I can see the love and sincerity in her eyes and my heart is doing somersaults again. I lift her left hand and kiss it before I pull her into an embrace.

"I love you." she whispers into my ear and that makes me the happiest man alive.


	2. Chapter 2

My continuation of my former 'Musings of' one shot of Peters thoughts in 4x21. I liked being in Peters head so much I decided to make it a two parter and give it a separate story.

I know that this will probably not happen in tonight's episode, but a girl can dream, right? ;)

This is for my AP family. You know who you are. You really rock, ladies :) I am grateful to know each one of you :)

So, enjoy!

Don't own The Good Wife or the title would mean something ;)

* * *

Once again I find myself pacing in a confided space. Too nervous to sit down I circle the couch over and over, stopping only from time to time to check my watch. Eli glances at me from his cell phone and raises an eyebrow.

"Could you please sit down?" I can hear the humor mixed with annoyance over my behavior in his voice. I shake my head at him and he starts laughing.

"You weren't this nervous last week when we waited for the election results, Peter. I don't get it. This is a sure thing compared to the vote." he smiles at me. "Relax, Peter."

"I know you think this is a waste of time, Eli. That we rather should spent it discussing next steps and whatnot. But this is more important to me than the governorship." I pause in my pacing and come to a halt directly before him.

"I know, Peter, and I understand." he nods at me and I see in his face that he means it.

I manage to return his smile and realize I have made the right decision with wanting him by my side today. He might seem like a person who is totally unaffected by any sentiment but I know that to be just an act to the outside. I know he cares but mostly has difficulties showing it. Although I was not so fond of him when we first met I have grown to like him and even consider him a friend now. Which is why I chose him as my best man today when Alicia and I renew our vows.

I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact she really accepted my proposal to get married again and have to pinch myself sometimes to be sure I didn't dream her telling me she would. That's what my life seems to be right now, a dream. One I hope I have never to wake up from. When I think about all that happened in the last two weeks I catch myself shaking my head in disbelief. It seems too good to be really true. I have not only won the gubernatorial election but also reclaimed the love and trust of my wife. The latter being the most important. I still would give up my political career in a heartbeat for her. But it seems I got it all. I finally sit down again on the couch.

A knock on the door startles me and I look up to see Zach enter the room.

"It's time, Dad." he smiles at me before he turns and leaves the room again, keeping the door open. Eli and I get up from the couch and follow him outside.

Meanwhile I am glad we didn't fly to Hawaii to have the renewal there like I suggested to her after she had said yes. Alicia wanted to have the kids with us and she was right about insisting on it. So we compromised on the venue and stayed in Chicago.

It was not easy to find something we both agreed on in the short time but just being elected Governor of Illinois opened some doors. So we found the perfect spot, the 63rd Street Beach House, which even provides a bit of a sea feeling as it is located at the beach of Lake Michigan. I feel myself calming down as I follow my son upstairs to the pavilion that overlooks the lake in which the ceremony will take place. I stay behind in the courtyard to wait for Alicia and watch Zach and Eli walk towards the front of the pavilion and take their places among my mother, Owen and Veronica. I had my doubts about having both of them with us today but Alicia wanted to have Owen as her 'bridesmaid' and so there was no way in keeping the date a secret to her mother. And I guess my mother would have never said a word to me again if I she had not been allowed to be here. But now I am happy to have them here. Alicia was right when she said it would mean much more if we had the ceremony with people we care about.

"Hey, Dad!"

Once again I am startled by the voice of one of my kids. I turn around to see Grace walking towards me. I smile at her but my focus is drawn to Alicia who appeared right behind her. I know I will probably not remember the light blue dress she wears in the years to come but I know from this moment forward I will never forget the look on her face right now. I can see in her eyes that this means as much to her as it means to me. That she is as sincere at a new start for us as I am. I smile at her while I offer her my arm.

"You look stunning, Babe."

I see her smile widen and she places a soft kiss on my cheek before we continue to walk into the pavilion.

We agreed to keep the ceremony rather simple but would exchange our own vows. Thinking about that I suddenly get nervous again. Rather silly as I am used to speak in front of hundreds of people. I watch the faces of our family as we approach the end of the pavilion which offers a spectacular view of the lake and see my kids beam at us, the polite smile of my mother and the rather skeptical faces of Veronica and Owen. I know that Alicia's family would rather see us signing divorce papers but luckily their opinion is the least I care about. All that matters is that Alicia is here by my side willing to start over.

Owen and Eli rise from their seats as we arrive in front of the judge and take their places next to us. Alicia removes her arm from mine and takes my hand instead, squeezing it lightly. I smile at her and return the gesture while the judge starts talking. His words pass by me in a blur; all I feel is Alicia's hand in mine and I can't stop thinking about how lucky I am she is giving me a second chance.

All of a sudden I feel her hand tighten in mine and I realize it is time for our vows.

I inhale deeply and turn towards her before I start talking.

"Alicia, on our wedding day, I pledged many things to you, including my faithfulness. I acknowledge that I broke that vow but I realize now the enormity of my mistake. Others come and go, but you are the constant in my life whom I will always love. Nearly loosing you has taught me to never again take you for granted and I am grateful you gave me a second chance. I believe in this marriage now more than ever, and I reaffirm my love and commitment to you today."

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat as I see a small tear escape Alicia's eye. I lift my hand and brush it away with my thumb. She smiles at me and I remove my hand again.

"Peter, the last years have tested the vows we gave each other on our wedding day. There have been times with deep hurt that we never thought would come our way. But we made it through it. I believe that you have changed and so I once more vow to stand by you for better or worse and recommit to our love today. And whatever life might throw at us in the future I believe we will face it together."

I feel a tear escape my eye now and I hear the judge pronouncing us husband and wife again. I pull Alicia closer and place a tender kiss on her lips and vow to myself to never let her go again.


End file.
